Posts Tagged ‘death’

My friend’s mom passed away today. Just a few months after treatment began, she is gone. She leaves behind so many who love her… wonderful children, a loving husband, and friends who loved her. Thoughts and memories of her love are remembered by those who knew her.

My heart breaks as I think about her loss. I have not stopped thinking about her since I found out her mom was sick. My dad was diagnosed with cancer last year and is battling paraneoplastic antibody syndrome due to the cancer. There is little research done on this since most people who get this horrible affliction die shortly after. He has made it over a year and is getting better. But my parents have no positive outlook on life. They bitch, moan, and complain about anything and everything. There is no positivity or encouragement with these people. For them, the glass is always half full – of shit. There was no love after my wedding. Just a “Well, that’s that.” There was never any “follow your dreams” but rather reminders to fit in and don’t make waves. Play it safe. Never any thought about happiness. Don’t follow your heart and so much “you can’t do that”. I was never taught how to give out of love and was charged for stamps if I wanted to write a friend. Generosity was something that was given to them, never to show to another person.

My heart is breaking for my friend. She was lucky enough to have someone in her life like her mother. A beam of sunshine, a lighthouse in the storm. A rock to turn to and a fountain of unconditional love. I don’t have a scientific reason as to why we are who we are or how we come to have a certain mindset. But I do know one thing… we may not grow up being taught the right way, but it is possible to become a better person by doing the exact opposite of what we are taught.


My friend’s mom is dying. She is now resting at home with hospice.  Earlier this year, it was found that she had advanced cancer and so my friend moved her mother across the country to live with her.  My heart breaks for my friend.  From what I saw as an outsider to the family, she had a loving bond with her mother.  Her mother always supported her, was there for her emotional health, and helped her in any way if she needed it.

At this point in my life, quite a few of my friends have lost their mothers.  So many of my friends talk about the loss of their best friend, a confidant, a shoulder to cry on, their support, their everything.  My mother is still alive, but I don’t know what it is like to have a mother like those of which my friends speak.  I am not close to mine.  She causes anxiety in my life that I choose not to visit that often and have to take Xanax in order to visit her.

While I don’t mourn the loss of a mother, I mourn the loss of what I never had.

At one point, I thought I had a good relationship with my mother.  I found out I was wrong early in my childhood.  I learned that her love was only based upon conditions and if I decided to follow my own path, I would not have her love.  Encouragement was only if I chose something that coincided with her wishes, and if I dared stray I would see my mother turn into something so full of anger that rage would fill her eyes as she turned into a monster.

I needed to leave and get away from such a toxic relationship.  Things were so bad as a child that I prayed I would no longer be under her care.  That someone else would take care of me or that death would release me from this hell I was living.  Or perhaps in my moments of hope there was some mix-up and I was in the wrong family and that my real family would come and rescue me and love me for who I am, and not as someone else’s ideas of what should have been.

Those were just dreams of a young girl who was never rescued.

My heart goes out to my friend who is about to lose her beloved friend, but in the same moment I am quite jealous of her.

It is truly better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.

Patrick Bernard Blessing

Wauwatosa, formerly of Appleton

Age 34, passed away at St. Luke’s Hospital in Milwaukee on Thursday, July 22, 2010, due to complications from an initial heart attack he suffered three weeks ago.

Patrick was born August 12, 1975 in Columbus, Ohio, to Mary Cathrine Blessing. Patrick attended Appleton West High School, Ripon College, and graduated from Syracuse University with a Master’s Degree in June of 2001. On November 15, 2008, Patrick married the love of his life, Christy Zimmerman Blessing.

Patrick lived in Wauwatosa and had a career in marketing and advertising which had always been a life long passion and path.

While at Appleton West, Patrick and his teammates secured the football State Championship in 1992. Proceeding to Ripon College, Patrick played football for the Ripon Red Hawks, was President of Phi Kappa Pi Fraternity (Merriman House), and was a survivor of leukemia. After college, Patrick volunteered his time to support miscellaneous causes including Huntington’s Desease, Kathy’s House, and Be The Match. Patrick was also a member of the Second City Comedy Troupe and an avid fan of Penn State and the Chicago Bears.

Patrick will be especially remembered for his pure enjoyment of life and the company of family and friends. Patrick had an unmatched ability to bring joy and laughter to those around him.

Survivors include his wife, Christy Zimmerman Blessing, Wauwatosa, and their soon to be born daughter; mother Mary Catherine Blessing, Appleton; step-father Larry Seidl and family, Appleton; 2 brothers: Shawn (Christine) Blessing, Appleton and Todd (Lisa) Blessing, Allen, TX; sister Judy (Larry) Tweed, Appleton; father and mother-in-law, Steve and Mary Zimmerman, Mount Calvary; brother-in-law Mike (Shauna) Zimmerman, Fond du Lac; sister-in-law Cara Zimmerman (fiance Jason Blank), Fond du Lac. He is further survived by aunts, uncles, numerous cousins, nieces, and nephews. Patrick’s God children are Taylor Peterson and Tanner Tweed.

He was preceded in death by his maternal grandparents, Bernard and Ethel Grazier.

A Funeral Liturgy will take place at 11 am on Monday, July 26, at St. Pius Catholic Church, 500 W. Marquette St., Appleton, with Father Andrew Kysely officiating. Friends may visit from 2 – 8 pm on TONIGHT at the Brettschneider-Trettin-Lederer Funeral Chapel, and directly at the church on Monday from 9 am until the time of service. In lieu of flowers, a memorial fund has been established for the care and support of Patrick’s future daughter.

The family would like to extend a special thank you to all the friends and family members who supported them during this difficult time, and also to the staffs at Froedert and St. Luke’s Hospital for their compassionate care shown to Patrick.

Sunday, July 25, 2010 – 2:00 PM until 8:00 PM
606 N. Oneida St.
Appleton, WI 54911

Monday, July 26, 2010 – 9:00 AM until 11:00 AM
St. Pius X Catholic Church
500 W. Marquette St.
Appleton, WI 54911

Monday, July 26, 2010 – 11:00 AM
St. Pius X Catholic Church
500 W. Marquette St.
Appleton, WI 54911

35-year-old Eric Vieau of Green Bay died at 9:30 a.m. Thursday, June 3rd. Married one year ago, he leaves behind his wife and best friend, Jill.  

Vieau’s family wants everyone to remember his face — remember a man who loved life.

“Eric was a charismatic, funny, charming, and loving person who was so full of life,” brother Nikolaus Vincent said. “He’s a true and loyal person.”

“His free time was spent in his garage working on his latest project, or with his wife and family,” Vincent said.

Mao Xiong (left) still at large, Aaron Lalbachan (right) has already been arrested

 Mao Tsetung Xiong (left) stabbed and killed Eric at 1:40am after both were seen at the Cock & Bull.  He is Asian, 5’6″ tall, and weighs about 150 pounds.  Mao Xiong has a criminal history and is a registered sex offender.  He may be driving a black Acura with Wisconsin license plate 404-PET or a gray Lexus SUV, license unknown.  [updated 6/7: the Press Gazette says the gray Lexus’ owner came forward to Milwaukee police and is not of interest anymore, but residents should still be on the lookout for a black Acura. Xiong is considered armed and dangerous.]
**If you have any information, contact the Green Bay Police Department at 448-3208.**
Green Bay Police issued a felony warrent for Mao Xiong for the charge of 1st degree intentional homicide. Xiong is still at large and has many friends and family in this area and the extended region.